Key Takeaways
Feedback (both giving and receiving it) plays an important role in building a strong and trusting relationship with your therapist.
Providing feedback to your therapist can be intimidating at first. Be as specific as possible, focus on collaboration, and ask questions when you need clarification.
If you don’t see improvement after giving feedback, then it may be time to switch therapists.
When we think about seeing a therapist, many of us imagine receiving feedback — in the form of observations or recommendations.
But giving feedback to your therapist is also important. It can feel awkward to give feedback or suggestions to whom you may see as the “expert” in the room, but therapy is a collaborative process.
Your therapist doesn’t have all the answers, and you are the expert on your own life.
Giving your therapist feedback, especially when something isn’t working for you, can be an essential way of protecting the therapeutic relationship, creating open dialogue, and ensuring that you’re on the same page.
The Role of Feedback in Therapy
Feedback, both giving and receiving it, plays an important role in the therapeutic process. Therapy is a health intervention, but it’s also a relationship between two human beings.
Research shows that therapeutic rapport, or the trusting bond that develops between therapist and client, plays an important role in how effective therapy will be.
Feedback is an essential part of strengthening that relationship. Without your feedback, your therapist can’t know when something they’re doing isn’t working for you.
If you have thoughts on the therapy process — whether it’s something you’ve found impactful or something you’d like to change — it’s important not to keep those thoughts to yourself.
As a client, you have the right to provide feedback to your therapist. Therapy is a joint, collaborative process. You play just as important of a role in the process as your therapist does. Try to remember that you and your therapist are working together — it’s not about your therapist being the expert who’s there to provide all of the answers.
Research also shows that client feedback can be an essential part of the therapeutic process. Many therapists and mental health experts even advocate for formalized processes to ensure regular feedback from clients.
How to Give Effective Feedback to a Therapist
Giving feedback to your (or your child’s) therapist can be intimidating at first. Here’s how you can do it in a way that is supportive and productive for everyone involved.
Share specific observations
It’s important to be as specific as possible when giving feedback to your therapist. Reflect on what, exactly, you want to give feedback about, rather than giving general statements about the process as a whole.
For example, perhaps your therapist often runs late to your sessions together, which makes you feel like they don’t respect your time. Or maybe you’d like them to do more of something you’ve enjoyed — like giving you “homework” between sessions.
The more specific you are in giving your feedback, the more you and your therapist can work together to get through your concerns.
Instead of saying, “I don’t find this topic helpful,” you might explain why—perhaps it doesn’t feel relevant to your current struggles, or you’re unsure how to apply it to your life.
You could also highlight past sessions where their approach worked well, such as, “Last time, you gave a lot of concrete examples of how I could use your suggestions, and that really helped. I’d love more of that because it makes it easier for me to put things into practice.”
For example, “Therapy isn’t working for me.” may not be an effective piece of feedback, because it doesn’t communicate what, exactly, isn’t working for you, and what your therapist can do about it. Instead, try giving more specific feedback, like: “I don’t think talking about this topic is helpful to me. I’d rather talk about these other topics, which feel more meaningful to me at this point in my life.”
Focus on collaboration
Remember, you and your therapist are a team.
Try to give feedback that opens the conversation to thoughts and ideas about how you and your therapist can work together to solve the problem. Think about feedback more like a collaborative conversation rather than a one-way street.
It may be helpful to think about what, exactly, your therapist could do to work with you more productively.
Would you like them to ask you more follow-up questions?
Give you more “homework” or skills to practice between sessions?
Is there something your therapist has done in the past that’s been helpful? Your therapist may have other ideas as well.
Ask clarifying questions
Lastly, asking questions can be a productive form of feedback. If you’re unsure about something, it’s important to ask. Asking questions not only helps clarify any misunderstandings but also gives your therapist valuable insight into what’s working for you and what isn’t.
For example, you might ask about their reasoning behind a certain approach or whether there are alternative strategies you could try.
Receiving Feedback from a Therapist
There might also be times when your therapist has some feedback for you. This isn’t about criticizing you; it’s more about keeping you informed about the therapeutic process.
This is especially important in therapy for children — as the parent, you play the most important role in your child’s life, and feedback from your therapist is an essential part of making sure everybody is on the same page.
Some types of feedback you might receive from your therapist include:
Progress updates
Your therapist should regularly check in with you regarding your (or your child’s) progress in therapy. Therapy isn’t intended to be a process with no finish line.
Your therapist will help you stay aware of the therapeutic goals you’re working toward and regularly share their observations about any changes, progress, or new skills.
At-home strategies
Your therapist may also give you feedback about strategies you can use to continue working toward your goals between sessions.
If you’re a parent, your child’s therapist might give you feedback on strategies to support your child at home. This doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong now — it’s just a way to make sure you’re all working toward the same goal.
Encouragement and support
Lastly, feedback isn’t always about looking for ways to improve. Therapists also give feedback in the form of encouragement and support.
They might let you know that the way you went about a problem in your life showed growth, or simply encourage you to continue practicing your skills.
When Feedback in Therapy Isn’t Effective
Unfortunately, feedback may not always be effective.
We recommend working with your therapist for at least 3 to 4 sessions because it can take some time for the initial trust to build. But in some cases, it may simply not be the right fit — and that’s okay.
If you’ve tried giving feedback, and still don’t feel like the therapist is right for you, then it could be time to move on. Finding the right therapist fit is key.
Some signs that it’s time to switch therapists include:
Lack of improvement
If you’ve provided your therapist with clear and specific feedback, and you still don’t feel that anything has changed or improved, then it could be time to move on.
Communication barriers
It’s important for you and your therapist to have clear communication. If there are any barriers — for example, if you feel like your therapist is consistently misunderstanding you when you try to give feedback — then it might not be the right fit.
Mismatch in therapy style
Sometimes, your therapist’s style may simply not be what you’re looking for, and it’s not anyone’s fault. If your therapist practices a method that isn’t working for you, then it’s perfectly okay to switch.
Feedback-Driven Therapy with Emora Health
Giving and receiving feedback from your therapist can be intimidating at first. But it can be an essential part of building a strong therapeutic relationship, and it also helps you stay on the same page and continue working, together, toward the same goals.
Try to be as specific as possible when giving feedback, and focus on collaboration. If things don’t get better even after giving feedback, then it’s okay to switch therapists.
At Emora, we value feedback-driven care and offer regular check-ins and feedback channels to adjust to your evolving needs.
We have a wide network of child therapists and are committed to helping you find the right one for your child by sharing their bios, therapy styles, clinical specialties, and more. If you do need to switch therapists, we make that process as easy and stress-free as possible.
We’re here to partner with you in helping your child live life to the fullest. Book an appointment today.
Read more about child therapy:
Sources:
Lappan, S., Shamoon, Z., & Blow, A. (2017). The importance of adoption of formal client feedback in therapy: a narrative review. Journal of Family Therapy, 40(4), 466–488. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12183
Stubbe, D. E. (2018). The therapeutic alliance: the fundamental element of psychotherapy. FOCUS the Journal of Lifelong Learning in Psychiatry, 16(4), 402–403. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.focus.20180022
If you or your child is experiencing a mental health emergency or crisis, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room immediately.
For immediate support, you can also contact:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
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